Monday, October 18, 2010

Why do we miss people?

Why is it that we miss someone in life. I for one person tend not to miss much in life, normally I am content and happy with whereever I am, if not I try to make my surrondings happy :). Ofcourse there are days that I miss being at home and likes but soon I get out of it.
But now I miss someone, someone very very precious to me and that is my first born baby.
I know he is happy at his grandparents, absoutley sure he has no reminisince of me but I miss him so bad, at times I have tears in my eyes when I think I am not with my baby.
Well, what's stopping me from leaving everythign and going to him, you may ask?
Here is where the practicality sets in, we will be together after 3-4 months, till then I'll have to live with his memories :)

Love you my baby.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Importance of being Parents

I think that one never really understands the true value of parents till you become one yourselves. Right now I want to protect my baby boy from all the troubles in the world, I know I would worry like hell if he would get sick, I want to protect him so that he does not fall down while trying to stand because one tear from him will break my heart. And this is when I think about the n number of times I have fallen down while playing...I never cared about falling down but now I think how much my parents must have worried. Growing up my I went to school and played with kids in the colony, mom cooked, washed our clothes, helped us in our studies, woke us in the mornings but no big deal I thought --that is what all moms did and dad went to office to work, I hardly saw him when I was a kid..but again that is what all dads did..No big deal......Teenage life I was most of the time out with friends..though as a family we did have vacations all over India...There was a time when I though my parents did not even like me much..nothing that they said or did but just my thoughts...In my First year of college I had to undergo a minor surgery and 1 week later we had to go for the check-up...Once the doctor removed the stitches I don't know if it was seeing him do it or the medicine smell as soon as I came out I fainted. Unfortunately for me, my finger got jammed in the door and my first and only fainting of life till day lasted not more than a minute or two. The doctor came out and said everything was fine. But it was later I came to know that within that 2 minutes my mom fainted and my dad had tears in his eyes. That is when I realized and I knew for sure that my parents would be heart-broken if anything happened to me, they loved me so much, they would be shattered.

After this I realized that so many times we take what moms do like cooking, waking early and making break-fast, as granted but it in fact is a tremendous chore to do. I don't fuss over food, never did even as a kid..nor at my place nor anyone else coz I understand the pains a mom has gone to get that done.
Dads--working in office from day to nite just so that we can be happy..staying by our side when we are sick..just so that we can sleep well.
Luv u both M&D

Thursday, October 07, 2010

To my Darling Baby

7th Oct 2010
My dearest baby boy,
I never knew I could feel such unconditional love the way I feel for you. I never knew I could love someone so selflessly the way I love you. I never knew that I could give up my beauty sleep for you. This and many many other things which I though I never could or would do I would do only for you.
On Nov 12th 2009 when the nurse first game you in my arms, it was love at first sight ........then started the sleepless nights of feeding you/changing you, making sure you are fine.At night even if you stirred a little I would wake up, spend as many hours holding you while you were sleeping and not putting you in the bed to make sure you had a good sleep ans you would wake up when you were put on the bed. After 3 months when I started working I had already got in the habit of the morning and nightly routines and was no longer tired waking up 4-5 times at night to feed you.
Slowly you started smiling, we all were thrilled to see you smile for the first time, we enjoyed playing with you, you tried to turn on your tummy and we encouraged your every little move. Soon you started crawling around and then there was no stopping where you would reach.
Your food intake included solids now, so I had to start cooking and feeding you food, it was a joy to see you eat.
At 9 months we had to leave you at the day care......for a week you were fine..and then whenever we left you there you would cry.It broke our hearts to see you cry.I literally stopped going to work to take care of you. 1 month down we travelled to India,I was worried whether you would adjust in a new country . You were so excited, happy being there.
On returning back the climate in US had changed, summer was over and winter started..we could no longer take you out, you would cling to daddy's leg in the evenings..neither were you happy being at the day care. Finally with a lot of pain we decided to leave you in India for 5 months during the winter.
A very very difficult decision to live without you but all the time we were thinking about yours and only your happiness.
1 week after we had returned from India I travelled back to drop you at India. My heart broke when I left you there, the only consolation i had was your happiness.
Today it's exactly a week since I left you but there is not a single moment that i don't think about you.
Let me tell you this my baby- we both love you a lot and miss you a lot!!
Hope you enjoy your stay in India and cant wait to get you back in my arms-my motapi