7th Oct 2010
My dearest baby boy,
I never knew I could feel such unconditional love the way I feel for you. I never knew I could love someone so selflessly the way I love you. I never knew that I could give up my beauty sleep for you. This and many many other things which I though I never could or would do I would do only for you.
On Nov 12th 2009 when the nurse first game you in my arms, it was love at first sight ........then started the sleepless nights of feeding you/changing you, making sure you are fine.At night even if you stirred a little I would wake up, spend as many hours holding you while you were sleeping and not putting you in the bed to make sure you had a good sleep ans you would wake up when you were put on the bed. After 3 months when I started working I had already got in the habit of the morning and nightly routines and was no longer tired waking up 4-5 times at night to feed you.
Slowly you started smiling, we all were thrilled to see you smile for the first time, we enjoyed playing with you, you tried to turn on your tummy and we encouraged your every little move. Soon you started crawling around and then there was no stopping where you would reach.
Your food intake included solids now, so I had to start cooking and feeding you food, it was a joy to see you eat.
At 9 months we had to leave you at the day care......for a week you were fine..and then whenever we left you there you would cry.It broke our hearts to see you cry.I literally stopped going to work to take care of you. 1 month down we travelled to India,I was worried whether you would adjust in a new country . You were so excited, happy being there.
On returning back the climate in US had changed, summer was over and winter started..we could no longer take you out, you would cling to daddy's leg in the evenings..neither were you happy being at the day care. Finally with a lot of pain we decided to leave you in India for 5 months during the winter.
A very very difficult decision to live without you but all the time we were thinking about yours and only your happiness.
1 week after we had returned from India I travelled back to drop you at India. My heart broke when I left you there, the only consolation i had was your happiness.
Today it's exactly a week since I left you but there is not a single moment that i don't think about you.
Let me tell you this my baby- we both love you a lot and miss you a lot!!
Hope you enjoy your stay in India and cant wait to get you back in my arms-my motapi