Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Attached or Unattached Emotions

This April 27th will mark the completion of 1 complete year after Ritvik and me are together. We had send him to India for 6 months during the winter and it was last year April 27th 2011 that he returned back to us with his grandpa.
From the time, he was in India he was very much attached to my FIL, sleeping, eating, my FIL had to be there everytime and once he goes to him, he wouldn't go to anyone else.
FIL was going to be with us for a month and then fly back to India.

The transition period started immediately, Ritvik got friendly to us immediately but night times, he wanted to sleep with his grandpa. We slept in the bedroom whereas FIL slept in the front room, so middle of the nite, when Ritzu woke up and did not see his grandpa he would cry till either his grandpa came to him or he himself would walk out to the front-room. In the evenings he would play with us but the minute it was 8 he wanted his grandpa. Gopi was as usual tensed at how we would manage when his dad left. I was too tired from home and office work to think much and was not going to get worried over this and spoil my sleep. He was my son and he would cry for 1 week after FIL left but I knew I could manage then. G even once told me that I was not doing anything to help when baby cried at night. Well, what could I do, it is not like we are living in a 2 level house with FIL sleeping downstairs or something , he was just 5 steps away from us. I told G, once he leaves we will manage but he was not convinced. The attachment of Ritzu to his grandpa started getting more as the day approached for him to leave, G even suggested asking his Dad to sleep at a friends palce for 2 nights. I talked him out of it, did not know what that was going to achieve, Ritvik would only get more cranky after the 2 days.
The day before he left FIL got all upset as to how we would manage after he left, Ritvik would cry for him and no one would be there, there were tears in his eyes. I felt bad too  but I reassured him, that yes with all this attachment he would cry for 4-5 days but then he would be fine.

Finally the day arrived for FIL to leave, I asked G to take Ritvik to the airport and show him his grandpa leaving as it would be easy to explain when he would later cry or ask for him. They left him at 1 and returned home. I reached by 4 to see Ritvik playing with G(being his usual self), he played, eat his food, slept, did not wake up at night and early in the morning he did not walk out in the front room like he did for the past month but just played with us on the bed and continued his day.
He never once asked or cried for his grandpa, he just blended into life with us.

I felt sad for my FIL , did my son not care or did he understand so much at a young age. I am still amazed at how he did not ask for him even once after he left, but another feeling sunk in, maybe my son will be Happy wherever he is.


Deepa said...

Weird feeling I bet to know that he didn't even miss. You might not have expected that at all. But kids adapt I guess. And they definitely understand more than we give them credit for!

Reflections said...

Found this post very interesting, u see I faced a similar situation tho not so critical & the result was also something like urs. Infact even my reactions were something like urs;-D. Children are very resilient beings and they are far more perceptive than we think:-).